Parent of 4.5yo autistic son, seeking advice to help him stand up for himself
I love my son more than I could ever imagine, gosh, it’s an amazing feeling. I knew from 2 weeks old something was different and started our parenting journey to help him grow the best we can. I’ve read a variety of books, taken parenting classes, and he’s in a wonderful program at school. I could use some advice from other parents or neurodivergent individuals, if possible. He struggles with standing up for himself. We’ve tried to teach him autonomy. We do not touch him without asking (unless he’s in danger), we teach him to say ‘no,’ we read books about consent together, and to watch for other people’s queues when they do not want to do something. We not only teach but show, we treat his younger brother the same way so he can SEE the behavior. When family or friends are around we say ‘son, do you want to wave, high five, or hug goodbye?’ so they and he knows he does NOT have to hug them, he is the boss of his body. However, it doesn’t seem to help. He lets people hit him, punch him in the face, hug him when he doesn’t want it, guide him to places he doesn’t want to go, etc. Does anyone have any advice on how to help him? Anything else I could be doing? I can see him suffering if I’m there when it happens or hear it if he( or someone else) is telling me later. I’m so worried for him now and in the future. My mind goes to worst case scenario in what he may let people do when we can’t be around him all the time. It’s breaking my heart for him. This post became longer than intended so I’ll stop but very much welcome any advice you may have for a worried parent.
I love my son more than I could ever imagine, gosh, it’s an amazing feeling. I knew from 2 weeks old something was different and started our parenting journey to help him grow the best we can. I’ve read a variety of books, taken parenting classes, and he’s in a wonderful program at school. I could use some advice from other parents or neurodivergent individuals, if possible. He struggles with standing up for himself. We’ve tried to teach him autonomy. We do not touch him without asking (unless he’s in danger), we teach him to say ‘no,’ we read books about consent together, and to watch for other people’s queues when they do not want to do something. We not only teach but show, we treat his younger brother the same way so he can SEE the behavior. When family or friends are around we say ‘son, do you want to wave, high five, or hug goodbye?’ so they and he knows he does NOT have to hug them, he is the boss of his body. However, it doesn’t seem to help. He lets people hit him, punch him in the face, hug him when he doesn’t want it, guide him to places he doesn’t want to go, etc. Does anyone have any advice on how to help him? Anything else I could be doing? I can see him suffering if I’m there when it happens or hear it if he( or someone else) is telling me later. I’m so worried for him now and in the future. My mind goes to worst case scenario in what he may let people do when we can’t be around him all the time. It’s breaking my heart for him. This post became longer than intended so I’ll stop but very much welcome any advice you may have for a worried parent.