An update: I stayed. Here's how it's going.

I've had a few people comment/DM me in the two years since I made my first post on this sub about potentially leaving my husband asking me what I ended up doing.

My husband and I are still married. One of our two young children is extremely medically complex. Nearly every choice we make in our lives has to be viewed through the lens of, "Would this compromise our ability to pay for their medical care?". We sat down and did the math. Divorcing and maintaining separate households would decimate our finances and ability to pay for our child's necessary medical expenses. At this point in our lives, divorce is completely off the table.

I can feel how I want to feel about that, or how in a just society that wouldn't be the case, but that is the reality we are currently operating in. So we sat down and talked, for a long time, about what we can do.

The truth remains that we make a good partnership, especially when it comes to caring for our children and dealing with our oldest's complex medical needs. It made the most sense for us to continue operating as a unit in that regard. But in order to get our other needs met, we agreed that non-monogamy was probably our best avenue.

For the first time in my life, I got on a dating app, and I was very clear about my situation and expectations. I was surprised to meet a few women who were completely understanding and open to dating me, even given the constraints of my life. I haven't fallen in love or anything, but I am meeting cool new people and exploring the side of me that felt suffocated. I no longer feel stuck.

I have no idea what the future holds. Maybe one day I will fall in love with a woman and divorce may be a financial possibility someday. Maybe I will remain married to my husband for the rest of my life and have casual partners here and there. I don't know. I just know things are better than they were when I made my first post. I know that we found a way to make it work for us, given our circumstances.

I hope everyone who is in a similar situation finds whatever works for them.