Struggling with emotionally manipulative parents and procrastination. Long post ahead. Serious replies only, please. I'm feeling awful right now, barely controlling myself from an anxiety attack. Please be kind.

Is it really a jerk move to tell my parents that they're restricting my life by not letting me go out two streets away to a park so I can lose weight and manage my health because they're over-protective?

That them fighting with me when I was in 7th grade for drawing or 'wasting' my time watching a one hour movie or spending an hour out with friends to play is a good move?

I know this sounds very stupid, but this is my life. This is how I spent the last 6 years of life, being expected to be a good child and student by spending my childhood studying and scoring so I can guarantee a bright future.

Right now, in 12th, I'm struggling with getting my syllabus complete. I haven't studied properly since the last two years. I have struggled with intense procrastination since 9th. The expectations feel too heavy.

I tried telling my parents countless times that this is fucking my mental health, that they should let me have the luxury of hobbies for a while to get my confidence back. I don't see a future in me. I don't fucking feel like living, if I'm being honest.

Am I the only one struggling? I'm literally unaware because I live in my house 24/7. I don't know how children my age are actually living their life. I feel like trash, like a jerk to the family.